Ok, by now you should be able to tell that I have a distinct distaste for anything bankerish. Frank Capra’s characterization in “It’s a Wonderful Life” seems to have been about spot on for nearly all bankers. Herewith, I now share with you another enlightenment from Doonesbury. Enjoy:
Is Santa Claus a member of the WTO? Patrick Thomas, the U.K. Embassy’s policy adviser for trade and agriculture, and Tom Barry, first secretary, economics at the U.K. Embassy in Washington, look at the trade implications of St. Nick’s actions. Thomas and Barry blog at http://blogs.fco.gov.uk/roller/economic.
Dear Santa:
It is with regret that I am serving you with a Section 415 Cease and Desist order in the matter of delivery of gifts and/or presents on the occasion of the Night Before Christmas on behalf of Mr. and Mrs. Dean (hereafter “My Parents”).
My Parents note the following violations of international trade rules which constitute a prima facie case of unfair competition in the delivery of but not limited to balls, teddy bears and games:
Anti-Dumping. The low price of zero dollars you charge is clearly below marginal cost. This seems to be a flagrant attempt to attain market share. No doubt you have your eyes fixed on Easter and Halloween, to say nothing of birthdays.
Labor standards. You have never accepted international standards for your workforce. Your elves toil for impossibly long hours and appear to subsist entirely on leftover cookies. My Parents have serious concerns about the long-term health effects of the “magic dust” which you pump into your workshops to enhance productivity.
Environmental standards. Your production methods are extremely carbon-intensive. My Parents are not convinced that your base in the North Pole is sustainable given the long-term decline in Arctic sea ice.
Intellectual Property. Santa-brand Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls are an unauthorized reproduction of the real thing.
Transportation costs. We regret your genetic modification of reindeer in respect of flight, and, in at least one case, red noses.
In light of these concerns, it is My Parents’ view that I would be better off without any such “free” presents and that my arguments against such were “naive.”
Merry Christmas.
Yours
Johnny (aged four and three quarters)
HOW LITTLE WE KNOW
by Harry Browne
August 22, 1984
You’ve probably had the experience of reading a newsletter’s (blog’s) explanation of what is about to happen in the world. The writer presents a sensible, logical, compelling argument that something is inevitable based on what has gone before and where we are now. His case is so plausible and rational that it’s obvious he must be right.
But then you pick up another newsletter (blog) and find another preview of the inevitable -and it’s exactly opposite to the forecast in the first newsletter. And the second writer’s arguments are just as logical, sensible, plausible, and rational as the first writer’s.
Which one are you supposed to believe? The question could be critical. Each writer might be urging you to invest all your capital in line with his forecast. To choose wrongly could be disastrous.
So how do you decide which one of them is right? Read more…
Asset Allocation, Economics, Gold, Humor, Markets, Portfolio Management, Stocks
by Jonathan Clements
Wall Streeters talk a great game. The real challenge, however, is figuring out what they are really saying.
Below are 33 phrases often heard on Wall Street and how you might interpret them. The list was compiled with help from investment advisers William Bernstein, Eleanor Blayney, Harold Evensky, Deena Katz, Ros Levin, Gerald Perritt and Larry Swedroe. I also got a hand from Journal colleagues Greg Ip and William Power.
But my biggest debts are to Kevin Berozott, an investment adviser in Camarillo, Calif., and John Rekenthaler, research director at Chicago’s Morningstar Inc., both of whom shipped me e-mails filled with hilarious examples. Read more…
Foreign Exchange Quotes
