My job requires reading a lot of financial news. It’s one of my favorite parts. But it gives me a front-row seat to the downside of financial journalism: gibberish, nonsense, garbage, and drivel. And let me tell you, there’s a lot of it.
Here are a few stupid things I hear a lot.
“They don’t have any debt except for a mortgage and student loans.”
OK. And I’m vegan except for bacon-wrapped steak.
“Earnings were positive before one-time charges.”
This is Wall Street’s equivalent of, “Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”
“Earnings missed estimates.”
No. Earnings don’t miss estimates; estimates miss earnings. No one ever says “the weather missed estimates.” They blame the weatherman for getting it wrong. Finance is the only industry where people blame their poor forecasting skills on reality.
“Earnings met expectations, but analysts were looking for a beat.”
If you’re expecting earnings to beat expectations, you don’t know what the word “expectations” means.
“It’s a Ponzi scheme.”
The number of things called Ponzi schemes that are actually Ponzi schemes rounds to zero. It’s become a synonym for “thing I disagree with.”
“The [thing not going perfectly] crisis.”
Boy who cried wolf, meet analyst who called crisis.
“He predicted the market crash in 2008.”
He also predicted a crash in 2006, 2004, 2003, 2001, 1998, 1997, Continue reading